Wise Advice: Short story long.

My great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after the Plural Noun because you'll only end up with a Noun in your body parts." I never quite understood his advice until one Holiday, I was gardening with my best friend Ginny. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was big and small and wide and deep and I can't believe this makes sense and large and birds were flying out and the sky were falling and my mom was shouting and I still can't believe they inserted all this and round and I'm trying to describe it as much as I can and my dog were talking and green and blue and red and yellow and purple and other colours from the rainbow and Obama was singing happy birthday and Chuck Norris just appeared at my doorstep and we fought and I died and I was resurrected by a Duck and I am still writing until I reach the maximum limit for this thing  and I am now so tired of writing this and my right hand just fell off but I have some duct tape in my pocket but I can't reach it and OMG this is so long and I'm running out of words and... big  and spooky sounds came from deep within. Ginny saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!